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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

I'm Thinking of Ending Things

I don't even know how to begin reviewing this book. That's how much I hated it. So please beware that this review will be incredibly biased. Apologies in advance.
 For starters, when I started reading this book I was reading the point of view as a man. Surprise, main character is actually a very dull girl.The story starts with her thinking of ending things with her boyfriend Jake. BUT for some reason, she has agreed to go on a road trip to meet his parents and see his childhood home. 
The first third of the story is told in the truck on the way to Jake's parents house. Everything they talk about is SO philosophical if you will. Jake knows oodles of annoying science facts and randomly shares them with her. Whereas she spends a lot of time in her head wondering why she agreed to this trip, knowing that she wants to end things (which let me tell you that exact phrase is used in the book at least 600 times). 
SO, they finally make it to Jake's parents house. Jake makes a show of touring the outside of the home, where the barn is, the horse, oh and the dead pigs that just hangout in the pig pen. Once they go inside, she wanders around (I don't know about you but being in someone house for the first time does not grant you access to every single room in the house for you to peep your nose into). His parents keep telling her how great it is that he's found someone like her; how she keeps him grounded. Then randomly at dinner, his mother says she hears the voices too. At the end of the visit, his mother seems genuinely scared for them to leave. 
Last third of the book we are back in the truck and headed home when Jake decides to stop for ice cream in the middle of a snowstorm. Ya, okay good idea.
When their lemonades start melting he decides to drive down a very deserted road to throw the cups away at a school he remembers. When they decide to just make-out in the truck a little, Jake supposedly sees the janitor watching them from inside the school, freaks out, and takes off to show him who's boss. 
Once Jake doesn't come back, she decides maybe she should go in and find him. This sends her on a massive hunt to find Jake, but she's not going to find him because there was no janitor, it was just Jake trying to trap her in the school so that he can hunt her...


The ending of the book was so terrible. So inaccurate. So absurd. So confusing. So ridiculous. At literally the turn of a page, she begins acting as if she and Jake are together hiding from the janitor. Except she and Jake are not together. When she finds him, he says that he needs her help ending things. Then he hands her a metal wire and she stabs herself in the neck and makes the decision to end things right then and there. BUT Jake is actually the one that stabs himself in the neck. The girl was never real. Jake was never real. The only person that died is the janitor in the school. Who SUPPOSEDLY when he spent hours bleeding out from his neck wound, he began writing this story and Jake and the girl were the main characters.

THIS BOOK HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL. But it was awful. I think I should have ended this book before I even started it. So read at your own risk, but I highly recommend not wasting your time.

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