All the Living and the Dead

I don't know about you guys, but I'm obsessed with the macabre.

 

When I saw a book titled All the Living and the Dead: From Embalmers to Executioners, an Exploration of the People Who Have Made Death Their Life's Work, I immediately pre-ordered a copy.

 

Hayley Campbell threw herself straight into a world filled with life's darkest moments. Nothing was off limits. The first chapter has her holding hands with a dead man while the mortuary workers change his clothes. She meets with everyone from funeral home directors to embalmers, executioners to crime scene cleaners, death mask sculptors, crematorium operators, gravediggers, even bereavement midwives.

It's gruesome and intriguing to read about the people who often go unnoticed until a tragedy strikes. It seems the one thing they have in common is wanting to ease the pain of the families still living. Each person has their own limits when it comes to what they can handle. The author had a traumatic experience while writing this book and can't seem to shake the image from her head. Even I have chapters that I know are going to stick with me. Like I said, nothing is off limits in this book. There are cancer diagnoses, suicides, child deaths, every kind of death is mentioned in this book and it goes into immense detail.

One thing the author set out to do was ease the idea of death. For many of us, myself included, the fear of the unknown or the beyond is worrisome. But I'll say, reading about the way these people treat the dead makes all the difference. Their jobs are only needed during the worst parts of our lives. They know families need closure in different ways and most of them are fully prepared to ease your pain without a second thought.

You Will Get Through This Night

Chances are if you're looking up reviews for mental health books, you're probably not in the best head space. But that's okay.

I found this book when I needed it the most.

I've spent nearly a month combing through the pages, highlighting, dog-earring, and force feeding it into my brain. I went back and forth about how honest I want to be in this review, but I've decided complete honesty might help someone going through the same things as me.

I've struggled with my anxiety for a very long time. It's not just an anxious feeling, but a spiraling thought. It's something that gets stuck in my head and I just can't stop thinking about it, even if nothing has happened. Anxiety is the reason why I have insomnia. I've always said the reason I can't fall asleep is because my brain won't turn off. I would stay awake until 3, 4, 5 o'clock in the morning just thinking. Then the panic attacks started. My doctor said, "Oh, it's just heart palpitations. Most people don't even feel them." And then she sent me home.

The way my concerns were just discredited really made me believe I had to just handle it on my own. I mean I have a psychology degree. I know how to help someone in my exact shoes. But let me tell you, that just wasn't enough.

I am very proud to say that while reading this book, I sought out therapy and started taking medication to help balance out my thoughts. The stigma behind mental health is slowly fading and that's a big part of why I wanted to share my story with you guys.

If you're not ready to take the next step of seeking out professional help, at least get this book. You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell is broken up into three parts: This Night, Tomorrow, and The Days After That. Each section is filled with personal stories from Dan, along with exercises to help you better understand your emotions without discrediting them.

This Night is for immediate help. It has information on breathing exercises, how to ground yourself during a panic attack, and even how to process your immediate feelings. Tomorrow is for learning how to positively change your environment. It breaks down how your environment, eating habits, friendships, and even sleep affect your day to day life. Why fill those spaces with negativity? The Days After That is for understanding and becoming your best self. It's about being your genuine self. I've started using this book in my every day life. Each section has brought me peace and I know that sounds absurd, but it's true. I personally have found that focusing on my breathing, acknowledging my thoughts, and not discrediting the way I'm feeling is the best way for me to ground myself. Sometimes it's okay not to be okay. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to feel.

 

I hope that by sharing my personal story, it encourages others to share theirs too.

People Person

I was genuinely surprised at how much I enjoyed this book.

People Person follows the lives of 5 half-siblings whose lives are thrust together following a freak accident. They had only met once before, when their absentee father picked them all up for a visit to the park. He left them with one piece of fatherly advice....."This is so none of you ever buck up with each other on the road and fall in love or have sex or any of dem tings. Because that, my children, would be illegal."

Throughout the years, the siblings ran into each other without ever really knowing them. But when Dimple calls Nikisha for help, the whole lot of them show up. In a weird way, this helped Nikisha, Danny, Dimple, Lizzie, and Prynce all find their way back to each other. I wouldn't same the theme of the book is dark, it's just filled with secrets. It's more about the dysfunctional, yet unbreakable, family bond. It felt believable, the emotions were raw and genuine without making me roll my eyes. It's about friendship and family, about finding yourself while uncovering your past.

I haven't read Candice Carty-Williams debut novel, Queenie yet but after reading this I definitely want to find a copy.

Huge thanks to Simon & Schuster and Scout Press for sending me an advanced copy!

 

People Person is out now!

Babysitter

I reallllllllly wanted to like this book.

I don't know what it is about Joyce Carol Oates, but damn she's wordy. All throughout this book she just continuously repeats herself, not just a line here or there but whole passages. It's almost like she thinks we've forgotten something from two chapters ago.

Babysitter was described as a "a novel about love and deceit, and lust and redemption, set against a backdrop of child murders in the affluent suburbs of Detroit." 

 

That description drew me in, child murders in the 70s in Detroit? Yeah, sounds like something I'd pick up. But apparently that loosely translates to "40 year old, wannabe socialite has an affair." The main character, Hannah, starts an affair that goes on for literally the entire book. I mean it's a central part of the story and it's BORING.

I just really don't have a lot of good things to say about this book. There's a lot of masochism mixed with sexual assault, racism and police brutality, and a weird mix of religious undertones. It just wasn't something that I enjoyed.

 

Looking for other books by Joyce Carol Oates?

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